Years ago when Bug was little I was trying to teach her that doing something nice for someone doesn't always mean they know it and you get a thank you. Sometimes doing something for someone without them knowing means more.
Trying to come up with how to show her this and remembered something I did while living in Phoenix. From time to time when I would stop for my frou-frou coffee I would pay for the coffee of the person behind me in the drive through and tell them to just say I told them to have a nice day. So now with that memory in mind on Friday mornings Bug and I loaded in the car to head to daycare and work we stopped at the closest coffee place. Ordering Bug a hot chocolate and me my coffee and we drove around to the window. When they leaned out the window to get our money and I said, "And we want to buy the coffee for the person behind us." The most confused face appeared in my window as they responded with almost a whisper of "Wha?" So we explained what we wanted to do and it was finally greeted with a little smile that grew bigger as they realized it would be fun to share in the moment. Our instructions were to just tell them we said have a great day. My car at the time was very ordinary so it was easy to pull away and just get on with our day.
This became our weekly Friday routine for months, we referred to it as "Good Deed Friday" and we would get to the window order our "usual" and pulled around. There were days we actually had to wait for another car to come so we could get our deed accomplished. And there was a couple of times where the car behind us order five or six coffees and pastries and we would pay for the car behind that so our good deed didn't get to out of hand.
After a couple of months on one of our Friday morning visits I asked if they would share with us some of the reactions and we were regaled with some of the neatest list of reactions. Some just stunned, some expressed how bad their week had been and this made their day and even one who had stopped to get coffee on her way to the hospital to say her final goodbyes to a loved one and just needed to take a moment for herself before she faced her sad reality. Both Bug and I left that day renewed in our commitment to "Good Deed Friday"
After about two years of our Good Deeds I had order myself a new car and which was not only going to be very noticeable but the license plate was going to make it impossible to be incognito anymore and we would have to stop. With hopes that the lesson was learned and that we had done something small for a few people we prepared to close this chapter of our lives.
What turned out to be our final Friday nothing unusual about our timing, or order we got to the window and both usual coffee friends faces popped out to great us all wide eyed and excited. Turns out the previous week when we bought the coffee behind us we started a trend of it continued until 98 cars continued our legacy of buying for the car behind them. Everyone seemed to get into the spirit and enjoyed the pay it forward attitude we inspired. The last person they told that their coffee had been bought for them by the person in front of them just said thanks drove away. There had been previous trains of 10-12 people following us but this was by far the largest one that had been seen.
The following week I had taken delivery of my new car and although we stopped we did not do our good deed but stopped to say our goodbyes to our friends in the promise we would be by from time to time but that our Goop Deed Friday was ending. For a couple of months after it was over and I would stop to get a coffee while out running around getting things done I would be told about another person who had asked to by me a coffee for what I had done or notes of thank you had been left for me to pick up when I came by again.
I've often wondered if the lesson was as meaningful for Bug as it was for me. The bonus I didn't expect is to find out that others had taken to doing this on their own and even though we stopped this particular pay it forward project, that it lives on without us.
For a time our lemonade was coffee, but the thought behind it remains unchanged!
Cheers!
1 comment:
Awesome. Thanks!
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